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Saturday, 10 June 2017

In which its a cruel world...

Am plagued by dreams of homelessness night after night...

Quite often returning to the first flat I bought and lived in for a year, before embarking upon my endless moves and odd, unsatisfying couplings.

I was the first woman in my family to have reached the lofty heights of owning my own home and now I'm losing it.

'Most men would be intimidated by you,' someone once said to me. I imagine that was a size related remark and it's got me thinking.

I've never met a chap who didn't think he was attractive. Even the most unappealing of coves feels at liberty to make derogatory remarks about women's looks. Size being a favourite topic.

'I thought I was big until I saw you,' said one unpleasant old item who was old enough to know better, when I first came to live here.

One suitor once said he'd only taken up with me because he'd got a bit fat so had to consider less than perfect partnerage.

Blimey, I'm certainly one of life's consolation prizes!

Not that I care, Dear Reader, I couldn't give a feck.

It's just quite interesting to recall it all and write it down to give myself something to read when I'm on my lonely park bench.

I don't feel sorry for myself though. It is what it is and I am what I am.

And what I am is the culmination of poor choices and a lifetime of the wrong road taken. Still, I've never been deliberately unkind to man or beast, so I'll hang up the hair shirt, paint me face on and biff up the shops for a paper to read about better men than me who've had their lives brought to an abrupt end by the evil of others.

We're all going to he'll in a hand cart.

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