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Tuesday, 25 April 2017

In which white goods appear on the horizon...

'You've got the biggest arse in the country,' declared one of One's delicious charges.

'Maybe so,' countered One, 'and it's so big it's got it's own postcode.  So if it wins the postcode lottery I won't have to come in here and be insulted by you every day, will I? I shall be dragging my sorry arse off to the West Indies where a portly posterior is a positive!'

Although, I do believe that a fat arse is a fashion accessory these days. I mean, look at that peculiar Kardashian clan and their enormous bottoms breaking the internet.

I thought a Kardashian was a planet on Star Trek, but what do I know?  I've lived too long and have no fecking idea what's going on anymore.

Any road up, I doubt my arse would break the internet, but it did KO me laptop when I accidentally sat on it.

One is favoured this very day...
I can just see an angel on the horizon bearing white goods. He's going to get his face snogged right off when he gets here, the darling cove...


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