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Tuesday, 25 April 2017

In which One is red and shiny...

Oh dear, Dear Reader, have awoken this fine, but bitingly nippy, spring morn resembling a partially peeled beetroot.

Let me explain...

One of those home dermabrasion kits was loitering in the sale bin at Boots, so I thought, 'ideal! Shear off a couple of layers of wrinkly, tired skin, and hey presto, reveal the Lovely One of yesteryear.'

Sadly, upon slathering the requisite amount over me chops, I promptly forgot about it and tarried too long on the pooter looking at shoes I could neither afford or be able to walk in.

Upon revelation, One's face was merely a lobsterish hue, but hot enough to fry an egg on.

'I know, thinks I, I'll bung on a cooling, peel-off cucumber face mask.'

Big mistake. Huge.

Am now several layers of epidermis light and a frightening, scabby looking monster.

Oh well, let's hope One doesn't terrify One's charges when One turns up bright red and shiny covered in Vaseline.

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