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Friday, 10 March 2017

In which I'm at it again...

I think today might be one of those constant blog days...

I simply have to write it all out of my system.  After all, it spares anyone from having to listen to me. You don't have to read it. Do you?

But I must write it.  If I don't tap it out the end of my gnarled, rheumatic digit it just runs as a constant narrative in my head...

Why did I do that when I should've done this, and all those unhelpful thoughts that clutter up the mind of a bonkers old woman.

Looking back over my life I can see the ridiculous situations I've gotten myself into.  Saying and doing things because that's how I thought others wanted me to be and never being true to myself.

That is true cowardice.

Living alone for too long and at too early an age with various intermittent and unsuitable liaisons to trickle in some human contact in an otherwise solitary existence.

It's not as if I can cite a dysfunctional childhood.  It was a bit fraught with warring parents and a very unstable Mother, but it's not an excuse for my completely ballsing everything up.

I've always taken the path of least resistance and dived into situations that have been short term fixes with absolutely no thought for the future.

That was fine before when I was young enough to keep starting again, but what of now?

It's as if I've just woken up to the fact that I'm not young anymore.  How stupid is that?


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