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Thursday, 8 December 2016

In which there is more than a sufficiency of sprouts...

Behind today's door is the transcript of a conv with Aged P..

AP.  Did you get it then? And if I get any more brussels I shall be ill.

LO.  Get what? And what about brussels?

AP.  That picture of Nana Harris. She had bright red hair you know and that bloody Eileen has sausages every day. Every time we go out she wants fish and chips and a wee. I'm going to The Old Palace Lodge for a Christmas Dinner and I don't want any more brussels, I've been in the bog all day.

LO.  Well don't eat them then, and yes, I did get the picture it's lovely and I'll put it in Boy's album.

AP.  Have you got me that jumper for Christmas yet because I've changed my mind to a towelling bath robe.  What do you want?

LO.  I'd like a surprise.

AP.  Well I am paying for you to stay at The Premier Inn.

LO. Well don't then if it's a problem.

AP.  I'm bloody Fed up of them next door. They talk Polish through the wall.

LO.  Well they are Polish so it's hardly surprising.

AP.  You can't get in up the surgery any more because of all the Muslims and they've changed the bus timetable. The Egyptians have still got a tablecloth up the bedroom window and Bloody Eileen goes to bed at seven every night.

LO.  I've got to go to work in a minute so I'll say goodbye. Have a nice time at the Christmas lunch.

AP.  The Mayor's Muslim you know. I bet it's him what changed the busses and Nana stole the Christmas club money and spent it on a new hat and that bloody Eileen can't make gravy to save her life. Oh, Ange is here so I'm going for lunch and they'd better not give me brussels.

Brrrrrrrrt


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