'You can't get an appointment for three weeks,' said she upon being advised to phone the surgery.
'What!' countered One, 'They must have emergency appointments available.'
'You can't get through,' ploughed on she.
'Well you just have to keep trying. It's like that here.'
'You don't have wogs jumping the queue. I'm going to A & E,' she hissed, and I'm afraid, Dear Reader, there didn't seem much point in labouring the issue.
Anyway, I'd like to think she enjoyed her stay in Somerset. After all, I'm sure the inside of Taunton Marks and Spencer must have been as familiar as the store in Luton.
No soaps went unwatched, no ready meal uneaten...
'Do you want some cake?' asked One on a visit to The Larder.
'Nah,' replied she turning her nose up.
Later that day...
'Claaaaaaaaaaire,' came the cry filtering through One's afternoon nap haze...
'Have you got any cake? I need something sweet.'
'I did ask you if you wanted cake and you said no,' exclaimed an incredulous One.
'Well I meant yes,' hissed she indignantly as though One had fallen short.
Later that evening...
'I need something sweet. Have you got any chocolate?'
'Some Cadbury Wholenut?'
'I only eat 70% cocoa plain.'
'I haven't got any.'
'Give me two squares of the Cadbury then,' huffed she reluctantly.
It was devoured with gusto followed by the rest of the catering pack sized bar.
Healthy eating tip...
White bread may be consumed as long as it's shaped like a baguette.