Ha ha, Dear Reader, One bets you thought One had shuffled off this mortal coil since One has been silent for the passing of a couple of moons…
Hell, no, darlings, One has been toiling at the pit face and simply too plum tuckered to record One’s doings at the close of play.
No, matter, One has a much needed, and may One opine, a much deserved day orf, this very day, so One shall fill you in on One’s derring do’s of the recent past.
Following the unfortunate ‘chandelier/lighting system’ incident at the Manor, One has temporarily left the Darling Admiral to return to his fleet and come back for a paddle around the Underground Lair.
If only the Admiral could see the benefits of having One permanently in residence…
Oh, forget that, there aren’t any from his point of view, given the carnage that One causes even from the briefest of visits.
‘The Man in the Cupboard’s’ arrival is imminent and should One’s insurance cover the eau everywhere, hot water shall be re-instated in order that One may languish dans le bain for a mo or two.
If, however, One’s insurance doesn’t cover it, One shall remain slightly soiled for the passing of many a moon, since One is, as ever, completely negative in the spondoolicks department. Yes, Dear Reader, in spite of the long laborious hours One spends tending to the needy, One still doesn’t earn enough to cover One’s daily bread, let alone the aftermath of famine/fire/flood etc.
One is in a state of shock, see above, That’s me that is, Dear Reader.
OH NO, HE’S HERE AND APPARENTLY BECAUSE ONE HASN’T HAD THE BASTARD SERVICED EVERY YEAR, THE WARRANTY DOESN’T COVER IT