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Tuesday, 28 April 2015

In which the grand reunion is upon us…


Tomorrow is the grand reunion, Dear Reader, when the A of the F will no doubt be waiting at the drawbridge,  staff assembled for inspection by One, brandishing a magnificent bouquet of horticultural specimens gathered from the grounds.

Or, alternatively, he could be shivering ‘neath the satin sheets sniffing and whimpering: he has Man Flu.


One is v displeased this morning…

Venturing into the back yard with One’s Espresso and breakfast fag, One was met with a vast array of fag butts that were no doubt hurled from an upstairs window, wherein reside some unsuitable neighbours.

Last evening, upon One’s late return from the House of Fun, One was enjoying a pint of Pinot and a fag in the grounds hoping for a bit of peace since it had been a gruesome day mainly centred around charging up and down stairs and attempting, unsuccessfully, to avoid being the target of a new Paintball inspired game: ‘Pooh-balling’…

…   when One’s reverie was rudely interrupted by the dulcet tones of aforementioned upstairs neighbour hanging out of her window to get a phone signal and in so doing delighting all below with tales of her, ‘abusive relationship’ and all it’s ghastly fallout.

One is pondering what to do with the fag butts…

Should One post them through her letter box?

Should One hammer on the door and when answered, hand her the offending butts with a stern, ‘Yours I believe!’

Or should One call in the Uber Lieutenant from up the block to have the usual solicitor’s letter sent for misdemeanours various? We now pay into a monthly scheme with the local Solicitor since such a large chunk of our maintenance charges are used for litigation.

One shall deal with this one personally, since having been on the receiving end of the wrath of Head Girl of the block, One merely wants to advise the young people of the error of their ways, not have them lined up in the car park and shot.

However, should they continue to irritate One, One shall be forced to exact an awful revenge…

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