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Tuesday, 24 February 2015

In which One's life is a comedy of errors...

'I'm surprised that no one has approached you to make a sitcom of your life,' said my v clever and talented writer chum from across the Atlantic.
This idea has been vaunted by the many, including the divine A of the F, who, like everyone, wants Miranda Hart to play Lovely One.
'Who's gonna play you?, enquired One.
'Brad Pitt, naturally,' replied he.
'I don't fancy him. How about Ray Winstone, I'd cover him in squirty cream and Green and Blacks grated 80% cocoa chocolate and lick him til next Tuesday.'
'Steady on Petunia!' Said the A, pulling the quilt about his person.
Fortunately for the A, One is still 'under the doctor' in the gusset department, or One would be launching Oneself off the top of the Armoire.
As it is One still requires fourteen uninterrupted hours kip per day, so One is off to the Docs tomorrow for a jump start off a minor.
One did get 467 readers yesterday, so maybe that sort, Sienna Miller ought to dust off her Goks, because as far as One is concerned, she's the one to play One.

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