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Wednesday, 4 February 2015

In which One ponder the progeny…

butterfly

Due to a severe case of advancing age, the A of the F and One are unlikely ever to procreate…

However, One can’t help but ponder on the progeny we might produce…

Imagine, for example, Dear Reader, the astounding good looks, the shock of unruly blonde locks, the amazing intellect, the foul language, the Scotch consumption, the mountains of fag buts, the stamping about in a paddy over this that and the other, and that’s only the best traits of the A of the F…

Maybe not, then…

Any road up, we have adopted a couple of items that have been with us for the duration of our marvellous love affair…

One is Gerald the butterfly, see above, and the other is a gargantuan Verruca-ca-ca-ca on the bottom of the A of the F’s right foot.

One, being at a bit of a loose end whilst ‘resting under orders’ in the Underground Lair, has been researching, on YouTube, verruca-ca-ca-ca removal.

One shared this interesting information with the A at the weekend, whilst changing into me Nurses Outfit with a view to immediate surgery.

‘If you think I’m letting you anywhere near me with a razor blade, you are seriously mistaken,’ squealed the A as he hastily bunged on his sock and made off toward the bog, where he shut himself in and locked the door.

The aforementioned Verruca has been Bazooka-ed on a daily basis to no avail.  One has offered the Lovely One Verruca removal system used in the past on Boy…

Slather on the Bazooka, apply woolly sock, leave overnight, this assures adhesion, rip off sock (with verruca attached) remembering to gag Boy so as not to alert the neighbours to the screams of agony, and Bob’s yer Mother’s brother.

The A of the F swerved that one on the advice of Boy who has had twenty two years of experimental surgery performed on parts various by One.

And so, Dear Reader, the substitute child, in the shape of the Verruca remains intact.

As for Gerald, One accidentally hoovered him up yesterday…

 

 

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