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Wednesday, 7 January 2015

In which One is counting One’s blessings…

going mad

That’s me that is Dear Reader, see above, going over the edge…

Joan Crawford (see above) had all her back teeth taken out in order to change the shape of her face for the better.  One won’t have to go to those lengths since One can’t afford to go to the dentist and One’s gnashers are dropping out as we speak.

Anyway, that’s by the by…

‘In order to see how we can help you we need to assess your finances,’ said the Mortgage woman.

Income - £181 (plus the staggering December sales of £17.50)

(One would appear to have had One’s ‘moment in the sun’ re: painting.)

Outgoings - £896, before food etc.

A veritable ‘Charles Dickens’ of a situation, invoking extreme misery.

One, with One’s usual ‘Pollyanna’ head on is struggling a tad to find something to be ‘glad’ about.

But, One is still chipper in the extreme.  One is obv. bonkers.

In the usual run of matters for One, One has secured a job to start on January 12th…

One is repairing to hospital for surgery on January 13th…

Now that’s what you call poor timing, Dear Reader.

‘You’re a survivor,’ says BF

‘Maybe so,’ counters One, ‘but I’d never make a comedian with my timing.’

What exactly would One make?  Now there hangs the eternal question.

Let’s assess One’s skills…

Knitting – not a lucrative career choice

Writing- blogging isn’t real writing

Vacuuming – One could be a cleaner?

Making people laugh – ok, but poor timing rules that out

Arse wiping – v good at that (sadly One is to have One’s own arse wiped for the foreseeable)

One heard yesterday of the very sad demise of a local business man.  A good, decent, hardworking pillar of our little community – gone forever.

That certainly puts everything into perspective, doesn’t it, Dear Reader.

We only have today.

So, today, One will count One’s blessings and get on with it…

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