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Tuesday, 4 November 2014

In which One won’t grow up…

dub dubs

‘Are you still loved up?’ came the enquiry from another of One’s chums who speaks/writes/acts in a manner not befitting of her advanced yearage.

Granted, Dear Reader, the gel is not as far over the horizon as your very own delightfully youthful Lovely One, but nonetheless qualifies admirably as a chum by her outrageously ridiculous behaviour. Most certainly not behaviour befitting a mother of three and the wife of an eminent surgeon who live in a house the size of One’s village and mwa mwa with the great and good regular!

Any road up…

‘Yes,’ One is, and with that in mind is off to wax lyrical to Mar’s gaff this very, where we shall partake of the odd quart of Pinot and several hand rolled cheroots, no doubt.

‘What’s wrong with my cooking?’ came the enquiry, ‘and make sure you look at the flamin’ label!’ was the instruction.

This, Dear Reader, since One had the temerity to offer a takeaway scoff in return for being allowed to crash in The Princess Diana Suite at her gaff.  Oh, and the fact that last time One put in appearance, One was admonished in the extreme for not buying wine with a high enough alcohol content…

‘No wonder I’m not pissed,’ came the complaint, ‘this bastard’s only 6% you idiot!’ hollered the very small, yet completely absorbent Mar.

One has never met such a small and delicate creature with the ability to inhale such vast quantities of food and alcohol.

On a trip to a carvery with the little carnivore she loaded her plate so high with a Yorkshire pudding Jenga that One was sore afraid the construction may falter afore we got back to our table. No chance! And she inhaled it in under ten and washed it down with nine pints of Guinness.

Any road up, I digress, as is me wossname, back to the general flavour of today’s missive ‘the inability to grow up.’…

Following the A of the F forcing One to actually work six days on the trot, One is off down Plymouth for a spot of R and R with Mar.

We like to record the moments for posterity (see above) obv One’s not in the pic, being too young and glamorous and not wishing to show the others up.  Oh and taking the pic!

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