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Tuesday, 4 November 2014

In which One deploys the cannon…

lens caps

An outfit guaranteed to shiver the timbers of the A of the F (see above)

To the right, and left for that matter, are v large lens cap devices that One deploys over One’s deliciously pert dub-dubs…

That leaves the centre device that suffices as both a twinkle cover and a direct route instruction…

Let me explain, Dear Reader…

One awoke to the A of the F with his ipad propped against his knees, speck-tackles deployed and emitting noises of satisfaction that One deffo hadn’t engendered since One had been pushing out the zeds.

‘Flippin’ ‘eck’ thought One, ‘is One inadvertently offering self service throughout the night?’

Not so, Dears, upon further investigation the A was drooling over what passes for porn in the Manor, a camera shop website.

There was a direct correlation between the height that the ipad levitated above the quilt and the size of the lens cap on screen.

One deployed One’s usual distraction tactics.  All to no avail…

But wait…

One nipped off to the bog and deployed lens caps various (see above) to hills and valleys various located about One’s acreage.

One wrapped a shapely thigh about the boudoir door and huskily whispered…

‘Is there anything I can do for you?’

‘Yeah, get us a cuppa tea and a fag darlin’

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