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Thursday, 16 October 2014

In which One is being slowly drained of life’s blood…

black pudding

That’s One’s arm that is, Dear Reader…

Holed up at BF’s smoking fags up the garden as BFP had gorn orf sailing about on the briny.

But, not before going to the apothecary yet again and them syphoning off another armful of Lovely One’s finest blue blood.

What the feck are they doing with it all?  Making a special Halloween Lovely One black pudding and flogging it at the award winning butchers.

And, get this, Dear Reader, now, not content with an armful of One’s finest, now they want to deploy a Kodak Instamatic and take some holiday snaps UP ONE’S TWINKLE, fer fecks sake!  I blame YouTube! 

I can see it now…

The main feature, ‘Fantastic Voyage up Lovely One’s Gusset’ starring…

Mmmmm  let’s think!  I know, Johnny Depp.  Mmmmm maybe do it after all!

Any road up One has got to shift into warp drive today regardless.

Unless One is off sharpish after the interview with a ‘Dog Psychologist’, whatever the feck that is, and does a rake of masterpieces One and the A of the F are never going to take off on our own fantastic voyage.

One, never actually having figured out the workings of the human male shall be hanging on the Doggsters every word and deploying a few of the dog control tactics on the A of the F.  After all he loves rolling over and having his tummy tickled.


1 comment:

Michael said...

You act surprised they all want a piece of you when just days ago you lamented the similarities between you and the late Diana. It seems all the princesses are destined to be hounded.