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Thursday, 26 June 2014

In which One’s heart is stolen by a Wood Nymph…

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‘What do you mean, you could stay another month?’ asked Lovely One of the Wood Nymph as we sat with our Prosecco and ciggies (hers thank you, all you who would admonish One.)

‘We-ell I could sta-ay another month if LB asked me to.  I could stay weeth heem as I hev a month left on my visa,’ countered the WN

The subject has been skirted around whilst they crammed in as much time together, eating, sleeping, having sex and taking baths.

‘Do you love him?’ enquired One, always straight to the point on these matters.

‘Yes I do.’

WELL TELL HIM THEN

NOT IN BED, BATH, ANY AREA WHERE AND WHEN SEX IS TAKING PLACE…

Tell him sometime over the weekend when you are at the stately pile, or he will never know. 

WATCH THIS SPACE, DEAR READER

                                        ~

The Wood Nymph has left the building.  One imagined One would be sad and bereft without her bright light shining in The Underground Lair, and indeed One is a little gloomy.  But One has so enjoyed the past six months and the little blighter has given One the renewed zest for life that has brought the Masterful Gentleman into One’s existence.  And that, Dear Reader, is the best thing that has happened to One in the passing of many a moon.

Any road up, One has had to cancel the Wood Nymph’s ambassadorship of the British Bath Plug Association and the on-going work with the Barnes Wallace Foundation on the design of the Bouncing Bath Bomb.

No matter, even if she doesn’t get the crown and sceptre handed over upon declaration of love for the Peer of the Realm, she will doubtless embark upon a new adventure and steal the heart of everyone she meets.  Just like she has stolen mine.

 

1 comment:

Michael said...

Perhaps you need to sponsor another foreigner. Maybe you could start a foundation or something and have a new one every six months!

The Crazy Slug Lady Foundation.

Any Road Up: Bringing Southern Europeans to the English Countryside.

Arts & Insanity (a play on "arts & industry")

Or name it after her: Lady Maria of the Wood Nymph Fund.