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Monday, 12 May 2014

In which One’s eyeliner might have had sex…

Here’s One placing an ad on ‘Spare room . com’ to replace the WN who shears at the end of next month and there’s her, still in bed when she should be out tantalising the Romantic Poet’s direct descendant in order to secure a ‘Grace and Favour’ gaff pour Moi!

These young people have no vision.  Off she went yesterday, whilst One was gusset deep in chopped vegetables for soup production One might add, to the cinema with some nonentity.


Any road up, today One is applying for a proper job.  That’s it – I give in – you selfish Bastards are obviously not going to pay my exorbitant prices any more, so push has come to shove and One is out there touting One’s wares – Yet  a-fecking-gain!

Honestly, at One’s age One should be cosily cossetted by some ageing cove and living off a large professional pension in the Home Counties, shouldn’t One.

One should be sending £2 to depressed donkeys and saving the Himalayan lesser spotted Fuck-warbler, not scrovelling around bargain bins in Lidl.

Spent a goodly amount of yesterday scouring POF for likely benefactors, but what the hell?  I still hold the same opinion I expressed when I found out about ‘bedroom doings’ at age 10…

‘If I have to show someone my BUM, I’m NEVER getting married, SO THERE!’

For all I know, my eyeliner might have had sex yesterday…