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Thursday, 29 May 2014

In which One is up to the back teeth with errands of mercy…

The drawbridge is up…

All lines of communication are down…

Preparations are underway for the release of Lovely One into society…

As if One doesn’t require a full day to render One fit for human consumption, the fates were conspiring against One in the shape of the Tiny Temptress and ‘er next door.

The Tiny one, other wise known as the wood nymph, had to be delivered to the workshop for a day hewing items from logs afore dragging a peer of the realm into his claw footed bath for an evening of pash.

‘I say to heem… shall we hef a bass, and he rush off straight away to draw zee water,’ she said with a serious note of surprise.

‘Good grief girl,’ shrieked One, ‘ I should think he thought all his Christmases had come at once!  I’ll wager the gels he takes on first dates very rarely suggest having a BATH.’

Anyway, in an aborted effort to further Lady-fy the little minx, One acquired a delicious slinky frock in order that she might, for once, eschew the jeans and Doc Martens. No success thus far!

Then, ‘er next door required collecting from hospital. 

I NEED TO …

Oil myself from tip to toe in order to slide into me Gok Wan control body stocking…

Deploy a goodly squirt of Cillit Bang Mould and Mildew dans me décolletage

and get me best pants out of cold storage

 

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