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Tuesday, 6 May 2014

In which One has indigestion…

And this is what happened…

One thought One would just have a glass of wine.

Then One thought One would have another…

It’s always following the second glass that One starts to trawl the kitchen cupboards looking for titbits to snack on.

Desperate foraging produced a sticky, half eaten bag of fruit jellies nesting at the back of a desk drawer. There’s no telling how long they’d been there but the label said 9d.

(One is often chided by the WN about scoffing out of date vittels and then complaining because One is up half the night calling for Hughie.)

Scoffed them…

Mmmmmm following another glass One needed something savoury.

A packed of oatcakes later One was still not sated and so began eyeing the supplies of the WN.

A packet of ready salted crisps were then consumed in record quick time.

There are now around ten crisps in a standard packet of Walkers.  What a swizz.

One doesn’t even LIKE crisps, but ‘needs must when the Devil drives.’  (What the feck does that mean anyway.)

By now One is suffering from the inhalation of many litres of Pinot and horrendous indigestion.

‘Serves you fecking right!’ you might say, Dear Reader, and indeed it did.

In fact One then had a Gaviscon chaser whilst watching Ugly Betty.

And so ended the Bank Holiday…

Earlier, when One was consuming the level of food of a normal being, One went to the Uffculmbe Show. 

Two Alpacas, One sheep, three irritated horses and an overpriced burger later, One had a jolly nice dinner prepared and served by Uncle Bert at his gaff.

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