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Tuesday, 15 April 2014

In which One is tempted by a sausage surprise…

There are certain difficulties that arise when one, anyone, not just One, has a Seasonal Surprise in the shape of a Berry Aneurism.

The resulting memory loss (I’ll grant you some of it is selective) does tend to lead One into the odd dilemma.

One such incident occurred this very day upon the visitation of Uncle Bert for his Birthday Brunch.

Being alarmingly short of spons One ransacked the Underground Lair for a suitable gift with which to delight the Gargantuan Gonadded old Git.

One carefully and delightfully wrapped the gift in ‘The Gift Wrapping Room’ a la Aaron Spelling. I kid you not, Dear Reader, they had a fecking gift wrapping room fer fecks sake!

Any road up, battling a chest infection, and believe moi, with my chest it could be fatal, One knocked up scrumptious luncheon and presented the gift.

UB tore into it (the brunch and the gift) with gusto and a bemused expression fell upon his fizzog.

‘This is mine,’ he said as he unwrapped the onyx egg.

‘Twas only then that One remembered that One had lifted it from his gaff previously.

But then, as One said, ‘You shouldn’t be too miffed, I only steal from people I like.’


One then retired to One’s truckle bed for a cough and a spit and a couple of eps of Breaking Bad. Only to be rudely awakened by Lovely Gordon with the offer of a ‘Sausage Surprise.’

Sadly One had to take a rain check so he will either have to stick it in the ice box or surprise some other maiden with it.


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