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Thursday, 10 April 2014

In which One is off to conquer the known world…

The fourteen year old Estate Agent is already back tracking with his valuation figure, even though it is in writing.  What a pullover!

Any road up, as One pointed out to the spotty oik, ‘One may lower the price but not increase it.’

So, onward and upward, or in One’s case, backward and sideways.

One has received a most marvellously generous offer of sanctuary from one of the best people One’s life has careered into along the way.  However, as per, One has a list and a plan.

Even after all the peaks and troughs, One still has a sneaky delight in something completely different. 

After all, One could sit festering in the Underground Lair knocking out paintings various of sodding Smeaton’s Tower from every angle apart from sitting atop it, or One could liquidise One’s assets and biff off in a camper van to conquer the Orient.


Well, I’ll go to the foot of our stairs!

The phantom carrots are back!

One was pottering, Charlie Dimwit style around the grounds the other am and during the restyling of a herb pot, One discovered a veritable crop of phantom carrots.

One has never planted carrots. One has never bought carrot seeds and yet there they were – carrots! Large as life and twice as pointy!

A new career as a market gardener beckons so One shall dispense with One’s foundation garments, remove the nail polish and adopt an Earth Mother vibe, (after One has finished painting the sodding lighthouse)

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