God, that bloody woman really annoys One! The Aged P, that is.
One would mange me chapeau if she is innocent in the Aged P/Brother war saga.
‘Oh hello, I was getting worried,’ was the opening gambit in yesterday’s call.
‘Oh, why was that?’ enquired One.
‘Well you haven’t phoned since last week and I phoned the other day and there was no answer.’
JUST FOR THE RECORD, ONE IS V V OLD AND NOT INCLINED TO TELL ONE’S MAMA EVERY TIME ONE LEAVES THE UNDERGROUND LAIR FOR AN ILLICIT SHAG OR A PINT OF PINOT.
‘I was out I expect,’ said One, already fit to bite a nail in half.
‘Did you get your Easter card?’ she ploughed on.
‘Yes, thank you and I sent you one. Did you send Boy an egg?’
‘No. He didn’t phone me last time so I decided to leave him out. I took eggs for all the others though.’
(the offspring of Brother and wife number one, who haven’t spoken to her for years and then popped up out of the blue trying to get info on the Brother’s doings.)
‘I see, so Boy was the only one left out then,’ said One through clenched teeth.
Whilst I agree, Boy should have thanked her for the egg previous, she has now obv switched allegiance to First Wife who was commented upon on the wedding day thus:
‘It’ll be the happiest day of my life when that marriage breaks up.’
(Obv the poor girl didn’t worship at the alter of Aged P to the required degree.)
But now, Brother onto wife numero deux, fallen out with Aged P being the common enemy, Aged P and First Wife are best buds.
‘You should see her new house, well she deserves it, she’s got four bedrooms, two ensuite, a toilet downstairs, even! And it’s in a mews with a private garden and someone comes and does it. What do you think of that then?’
I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE SENT BOY AN EGG