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Sunday, 9 March 2014

In which One has discovered the elixir of life…

Having spent so little time in the Underground Lair of late, One is delighted to be back in the calm silence of it’s damp chambers.

Mar’s gaff is noisy and animated all the time, not least since she has been boosting the dwindling coffers with her drug dealing antics.

Not anything illegal, One hastens to add, but Senakot Tablets if you ever did!

Mar’s ageing Ma has a serious shit drug inducing habit.  So much so that she sidles up to all and sundry and with hand across mouth demands…

‘Have you got any?’

Sadly, the v aged one has a habit of forgetting how many she’s imbibed and this leads to a gusset foraging incident led by the capable hands of Mar. 

This is such a regular occurrence now that Mar goes by the nom de plume of ‘The Shit Fairy.’  Try as she may with a spray of Cilit Bang Grime and Lime down the décolletage along with a build up of Red Door, she can’t seem to shake the aroma of Senakot induced shite that clings to her hands.

Not only do the little blighters live to a previously unheard of age, they are precocious and far more forward than your average bod.  Swastika (two and a half) has already been to Eye-Bee-Fa with some friends, and has two part time cleaning jobs to make ends meet.

So, there you have it!  Sea air and Senokot!  The recipe for a long and healthy life!

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