One has been told in no uncertain terms that One is capable of changing things and getting what One wants.
For example: losing some excess flabbage, moving house, finally securing a mate etc
Would that it were true!
One has remained a paragon of virtue in the scoffage stakes however and limited Oneself to small healthy meals and a very limited amount of alcohol.
All good! Until, One succumbed to the Chardonnay calling from the Frigidaire. Several buckets later One was trawling the cupboards searching for scoffage and anything to perpetuate the motion of hand to gob stuffage.
The remains of a packet of pretzels
six dairy lea triangles (sucked out of the foil)
half a pack of ryvita with some dried up peanut butter
a pack of fruit jellies (except the green ones of which there was a plethora)
a slice of Christmas cake
the knobby ends of a french stick (because that was all that remained)
A slug of Gaviscon
And so to bed!
Today, however, One is a restrained and measured being and the minute One has touched up me roots One is going to take on the world