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Tuesday, 21 January 2014

In which One is all undulating acreage…

Am v busy getting the kingdom of Spare OOm into order ready for the young lady from Puerto Rica. 

The things One has to resort to in order to simply live these days are dire in the extreme.

Just think, One will have to get dressed occasionally instead of being ‘Woman in a Dressing Gown’ – gosh that ages One!

Any road up, no more sashaying around in me soiled onesie and drinking out of wine bottles at 11.00 am – well not unless she turns out to be a shameless hussie like One.

Watched some of that ‘My Baggy Body’ last night/


Why one earth would anyone parade their acreage on TV for the edification of the great unwashed.  No one has any sympathy for the floppy great dollops, everyone just wants to point at them and titter.

Just like that ‘Embarrassing Illnesses’ malarkey.  If you’re too embarrassed to go to yer own GP why would you want the entire nation gawping up yer festering twinkle!

I’ll go to the foot of our stairs!

Anyway, seeing the ghastly spectacle of all that flolloping flesh, One might just ditch the 5/2 since One’s current mass is in the manner of undulating hillocks and dales full of downy stuffing and if One messed with perfection One might end up wearing a crinkly pink leather shell suit.

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