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Monday, 23 December 2013

In which One is in receipt of a crap candle…

There are some things in life that should never ever be tampered with.

One hopes upon hope that no unnecessary eejit will ever invent leather that doesn’t crinkle and tear.

One desperately desires that terracotta pots won’t be designed not to go all green and mossy.

That lovely young men won’t morph into delicious, creased and greying delights.

That full faced beauties won’t suck in their timely cheekbones and wear their beauty like a time worn trophy.

There are, however, some advances that One approves of…

The self clean oven and freezer, the non-fade hair dye, the timely invention of all show-offy photographers bunging their pics online so that lazy old Lovely One doesn't have to stir from the sofa to take her own.

BUT THE PERSON WHO CAME UP WITH THE NON DRIP CANDLE

needs to have at least one inserted up their smedley-botham.

What’s the point of having a fabulous brass candle stick with a festive red candle in it – if it doesn't drip in that delicious Hammer Horror Movie way?

NO NO NO

 

2 comments:

kinny said...

poetry yet !! ha ha ha

kinny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.