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Sunday, 22 December 2013

In which One is fortunate…

One wonders if there was anyone abroad in ten parishes land cocking a lug to Princess P et moi as we reminisced about the Christmases of our childhoods.

At the end of proceedings PP asked One if One would prefer the Christmas of today or the ones of the 1950’s.

One opted for the latter but in truth One would much prefer the Christmases of the 1990’s when One had a small Boy to make a special time for.

One would begin the Christmas preparations in early November with lots of tiny Christmas cakes cooked in baked bean tins.  They would be ‘fed’ regularly with rum or brandy until steeped and solid, ready for a glazed fruit topping and a big red and gold velvet bow.

Having already created bottles of flavoured oil, mountains of chutney, home made truffles and many other seasonal delights, One would make up fabulous hampers for One’s family members who would all congregate in One’s splendid dining room on the day.

The Aged P’s would snipe and snarl at one another over the beautifully decorated table and The Mother in Law and Uncle Paul would pick around on their luncheon plates whilst M in Law entertained One and all with a long list of differences betwixt her cooking and One’s.

When it was all reduced to a hideous mess of leftovers they all cleared off.

How fortunate that One is alone.

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