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Friday, 15 November 2013

In which One want an OAP cull to save the world…

Boots the Chemist have an offer of BOGOF  on anti stress peel off facial masks.

I purchased thirty five and got another thirty five free. 

Currently One is slathered head to dainty toe in the pink anti stress slime awaiting hardening.

Upon removal One is hoping to enter an om zone of spiritual harmony and be One at one with the universe.

This Zen state of being is unlikely, however, to be achieved before the timely return of the Aged P to Lutonistan.

AND NOT A MOMENT TOO FECKING SOON

Today One will be visiting yet another bastard tea room and sloshing further cups of Ty-fecking-Phoo down as a chaser for a dried up sodding cup cake.

This delight is to follow lunch in the local hostelry which was rendered a fecking nightmare by the silly old bat chipping in with all and sundries private conversations and staring with embarrassing continuity at some poor swine with a facial injury whilst commenting upon it with her hand across her big gob.

How she doesn’t get at least a telling off is totally beyond me!  The rudeness is arse cringing for anyone with her.

Apropos of nothing…

One has discovered the real reason for global warming – it is the heat generated by the millions of annoying elderly people (all kept alive by the wastage of NHS money) sitting sweltering in their ‘snuggly blankets with sleeves in’ clutching their hot water bottles whilst soaking up all my fecking heating!

One is mooting a mass cull of the irritating old shite’s and One would like to begin NOW

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