Today One will be mostly watching Peter Andre decorating someone’s house, taking a pill box (acquired yesterday) back to the shop and spending a fecking fortune in a sodding tearoom.
All this excitement will be interlaced with the odd bit of painting, with which to get money to spend in tearooms.
Boy, who now earns his own money, (more than me) is now impervious to financial bribery and has seemingly gone AWOL.
One’s bathroom has been found wanting through the lack of a sit down shower and a handle on the wall.
One’s kitchen is unsatisfactory due to the lack of a ‘dishcloth’ whatever the feck that is and a milk pan.
Food is being served on an almost hourly basis and drinks, wine, tea and coffee are on demand if anyone – ANYONE – PLEASE – would like to visit!!
It has come to One’s attention that one of you, my avid followers, has suggested that One should frequent a low class establishment called Primark. Is it not enough for you people to realise that One has had to discover Lidling? Have you learned nothing from my years of recounting my superior existence?
Primark! NO NO NO