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Saturday, 9 November 2013

In which One is hiding in the bog…

Please somebody – HELP ME

Aged P has been here a little over 24 hours and thus far One has been subjected to something called ‘Strictly’ where washed up C listers cavort about with suspect looking eastern European bints in sequins…

We are now onto radio 4 extra with a delightful composite of wartime radio ‘comedies’…

This follows a trip to Taunton to acquire a Onesie for the Aged P…

Marks and Spencer, despite having a cashmere Onesie, and others, plentiful, in every fecking colour in the spectrum,  were all ‘Shit and I’m not wearing them with my hair!’

Matalan, similarly, despite offering all sizes in all colours, were found wanting.

The fiendish old dollop then decided she wanted a ‘new jumper’ so off we went again to M & S whereupon a pair of trousers were purchased because a ‘Turkwozz’ jumper with a high neck was impossible to locate amongst the six fecking ton loads of sheep wool that had been fashioned into every conceivable sweater design.

‘I ain’t ‘avin that it’s got an owl on and they’re unlucky!’

Continuing in the same vein, a wincyette nightie with short sleeves was conspicuous by it’s absence.

One did attempt to come down on the side of the manufacturer in that ‘winter weight ones usually have long sleeves and summer ones have short.’

This explanation was met with the familiar ‘sniff’ and the face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, so we came home whereupon Boy showed up to alleviate the torture. I bet I’ll have to pay cash for his time!

HELP ME

1 comment:

Seseija said...

M&S? I would have thought Primark would have had what was needed.
Silly question; Boy does not harbour similar thoughts re you? Just a thought.
Think of the sisterhood; how many others will endure similar faith to yours this Xmas?
Makes you stronger etc...I have already heard from friends anticipating the arrival of family member. Hmm...rather you than me.