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Thursday, 14 November 2013

In which One has indigestion …

‘Huh, if I was here at lunchtime I know what I’d have,’ issued the Aged P upon a request to inform Boy et Moi as to her preference for supper at a local hostelry.

‘What would that be,’ enquired a gritted teggied Lovely One.

‘The chefs cheese platter,’ said the AP stabbing a gnarled digit at the desert board.

‘I offered you cheese at home and you said you can’t eat it,’ blurted out the surprised Lovely One before remembering it is better to just go with the flow de la jour.

‘Well I can, but just not at night because of the migraines, and I can’t eat chocolate either.’

This from the woman who has had two enormous bars of 80% cocoa (what else) organic chocolate secreted in her room in order to sneak in for a square and not share.

‘Ok, then if we come again, have the cheese. What would you like now?’ asked the confused Boy.

‘What are you having?’ came the stock reply. ‘That woman over there has got a carafe of wine, I wish I’d had one instead of just this glass.’

‘We could get you one if you want,’ said One.

‘Huh, I’d never drink all that!’

‘OK then, what do you want to eat?’ ploughed on Lovely One.

‘What are you having?’

‘I’m going to have the pie of the day.’  A day with a pie in it is a day to be celebrated in my humble (pie) opinion!

‘I can’t eat pie, you idiot!  I’ll be having reflux and Gaviscon later on!’

‘Well, don’t have pie then.  What would you like?’

‘What are you having?’ to Boy.


‘Can I get a small one of those?’

The pie, the lasanges large and small were delivered after an interminable wait during which the Aged P had the next table under observation and found it necessary to comment upon their alcohol consumption, their outfits and even to remark upon their conversations, behind her hand, in a very loud voice.

Boy et Moi squirmed.

‘Do you want pudding?’ One foolishly enquired.

‘I don’t want the cheese.’

‘What would you like then?’

‘I’ll have creme brulee, what are you having?’

‘I’m having cheese and coffee.’

‘Oh well, you can save me some of your cheese.  I really love brie.’

‘No.  If you want cheese, have cheese.’

‘Huh! You’ve got plenty of cheese and I want some.’

‘Well have cheese instead of creme brulee then.’

‘What are you having?’ to Boy.

‘Sticky toffee pudding.’

‘I don’t want that!’

Rennie anyone?

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