Oh my giddy Aunt, Uncle Bert’s got another date!
As if One hasn’t got enough to occupy Oneself, now One will have to be on red alert at the door with a pair of articulated shreddies in case he tries to go commando on a date.
Heaven alone know what manner of toothless, gnarled old harridan will be waiting at the end of the A38 for her passport to paradise. Doesn’t bear thinking about!
Any road up, began the Festival chat on 10 Radio yesterday with Princess P and some professional old cove who could do with the ‘don’t do that in Wivey chat.’
Fortunately, when Lovely One fetched up in Wiv, One immediately came under the supervision of BF who put One straight in the U and non-U ways of Wiv.
Never, ever bad mouth a Wivey-ite unless you are absolutely sure of their heritage as almost everyone is related in some way to everyone else.
If not, they will either be sworn mortal enemies or bosom buddies.
The professional cove would do well to adhere to this rule as he sat next to One and verbally lashed a bod who’s V dear to One’s heart. (Yes One does actually like a couple of people in the world)
Princess P’s eyes were shooting about like the lottery balls in the bingo machine, but all to no avail as the cove blundered on and on.
For once in me miserable existence One kept me trap shut and merely ingested the bile, with the view to either blackmailing or bashing up the cove in the very near future!