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Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Cake and Wine! Witchcraft's for Me!!

Halloween today! Samhain, Sambaine, All Souls, All Hallows Eve, whatever! Take a black candle and a white candle. Light the black candle and contemplate the year that's passed. Then light the white candle and think of the year to come. Have a feast of cake and wine. CAKE AND WINE! Why did no one mention to me that being a witch involved cake and wine, I'd have done it all years ago. I had a very strange dream last night. I was looking out of a window and suddenly a strong wind began ripping huge trees out of the ground and they began sailing around in the sky. Only one crashed into the window I was looking out of. What can it mean? I shall contemplate it as I'm scoffing cake and inhaling wine.
I'm contemplating buying a business premises for Red Hat. So I'd better get on with some painting so that there's something to sell!

Sunday, 28 October 2007

disaster in the boudoir

Disaster follows disaster in the Rice flat. I got home from work on Friday and my lovely boudoir was in a state of utter disarray. Somehow a crystal bonbon lidded jar, an antique jug full of flowers and my fabulous gothic candelabra had plunged off their shelf and shattered into a zillion pieces on the floor. Edward, who was at home playing computer games, had in fact heard the commotion and was so deeply engrossed in blowing up aliens that he just 'forgot' about it. The devastation was so extreme as to be rather unnerving. How can crystal landing from just four feet onto a carpet shatter to dust? The jug was in about a hundred pieces too. It looked as if someone had deliberately hurled the lot onto a concrete floor. I set about clearing it up but really wished I'd taken a photograph as I'm sure no one believes the description I've given them. Anyhow, whilst sweeping it all up I heard a terrific bang from the other end of the flat. I just carried on, thinking some electronically generated aliens were getting their just deserts, when the lights flickered and dimmed momentarily. It transpired that the cooker had blown up! No dinner that night then! Estranged vile husbands come in rather handy for these kind of repairs.

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

ebay addicts rule the world

I am an ebay addict. I just can't stop spending. It's so easy. It's not like parting with real cash is it? I am now the proud owner of a 'semi antique' persian rug. I expect the fat ginger cat will claw it to pieces in no time at all.
I looked into buying a shop in Dulverton last week. I could just see myself sitting in the window painting. All I'd need to do is bung a painting of a horse or a fox in the window and I'd be busy with commissions for at least two years. I didn't, however, want to begin a career as an eastern importer, which is the name of the shop. Sixteen thousand pounds worth of carpet bags and pink leather slippers might be hard to shift!!
I did acquire the most divine chandelier for the 'tart's boudoir' that is my bedroom. Edward thought it was 'gross'. Do I care? No! It's the most fabulous piece of cheap tat!
The flat is looking wonderful. Country House condition, I think it's called. No DFS for me, thank you very much!
I had a lovely present from a customer today; a package of paintings actually done by an elderly lady who lived in this old Malthouse. I shall frame them and hang them in the hallway.

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Tiffanys, Frogs and My Cat

Look, I know I'm a sometimes blogger, but my site meter says that someone is reading me. So why don't I have any comments. Heaven knows I need some input into my sad little existence! I just watched almost all of Breakfast at Tiffanys. Flippin' 'eck! Still makes me skrike though! You could quite easily make a full scale model of Aud out of the excess flesh on me left thigh! Still, she had a face like a wet weekend, and as for that 10berth bouncy castle welded to her skull, I ask you!Mind you, I'd hand over a week's luncheon vouchers for a snog with George Peppard, when he was alive that is.

I did have a small chance this evening to kiss a frog that was being chased round the sitting room by Big Fat Ginger Cat, but he scoffed it before I got the chance.

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

jelly babies taste nasty

Not a bad day in the grand scheme of things. A nice day at work. However, my life is a green jelly baby. Why do they put green jelly babies in the box? There are always more green ones and they taste nasty. My life is like a green jelly baby. It's not nice. Nothing nice or fun just work and wondering how to pay the bills. There's no hope of anything nice in the future. The little twerp upstairs is still intent on stealing my parking place. Why is it that there are awkward gits like him in the world. Why do I have to be picked on? When they don't want to shag you, you become worthless. It really gets on my nerves! I shall shut myself behind the curtains with my big fat ginger cat and drink red wine until I burst.

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Death in a small town

in a small town like this death is visible on a daily basis. Having lived most of my life in a number of anonymous large towns and cities death is invisible. It only happens when it's someone in the family or someone you know. Here, it parades down the high street on a daily basis. First you see a crocodile of passers by wearing black and looking awkward in formal clothes, then, an hour or so later they all walk back up the hill and disappear until the next time. 'Did you hear that so and so dropped dead the other day?' someone will say and then you suddenly realise that someone you've seen every day hasn't been there for a while. I expect that's what happens. It's quite annoying to think that when I've gone everything will continue. People will still be dropping off quantities of unwanted stuff at the charity shop. They'll still be getting drunk in the pub every night, feeling grim at work the next day and then doing it all again. One by one we all vanish without trace. Those of us who can't accept that comfort themselves with the thought that they'll go to 'a better place'. They won't. They'll be deposited under the earth.