Friday, 23 February 2007
Wednesday, 21 February 2007
He asked me what he's going to do for money when we separate our joint account. I foolishly suggested he might like to earn some for himself. He is of course 'working on it' and has been for the past four years. Sadly he hasn't actually earned any money. He is still unable to distinguish between a hobby and a job.
He does look rather a pathetic sight moseying off into the sunset with some frozen custard slices in a carrier bag for his tea. Well he chose it. Job and family or no job no family. He should be hanging his head in shame.
No chance of that though. I expect the mother ship will be calling him back to his own planet soon.
Monday, 19 February 2007
A little token for the errant husband.
A LOVELY TIME!
It’s been a jolly super weekend,
My ex-husband came to stay,
So I’ve been busy doing housework
In fact, it took all day.
I went to find a jaycloth
Couldn’t find one anywhere
So I had to use his toothbrush
To clean up the pubic hair
From all around the plugholes
In the bath and down the sink
But I rinsed it in the toilet
So it’s quite clean now, I think
The poor old cat’s been puking
And has ruined his own bed
So I’ve let him get all cosy
In the ex-husband’s instead
He’ll make himself quite comfy
And I’m sure he’ll be alright
He’ll spot the fleas quite easily
Because the sheets are white.
Let’s hope it stays inflated
As he shuffles round and snores
Because we accidentally ripped it
With the cat’s pre-sharpened claws.
I’ve been searching for his towel
In fact I’ve looked all day
Then I suddenly remembered
It’s in the litter tray!
It’s plenty clean enough for him
It’s dirty – just a bit
With little bits of fur stuck to
A smear of pussy shit.
So I’ve cooked a lovely curry
He’s always enjoyed that
And to eek the chicken breast meat out
I’ve used some kitty kat.
I’ve bought some fresh baked naan bread
There simply is none finer
But till I can get up to the chemist
I’ve used it as a panty liner.
And just in case the bastard
Thinks he can take me for a sucker
I’ve put toenails in his sandwiches
And I hope they choke the f***er!
Sunday, 18 February 2007
I start my new job at the beginning of March and I'm looking forward to that. He, of course, has no gainful employment. He'd better get himself a bank account before the end of the month as I'm not footing the bill for his loan. He should consider himself lucky that I'm even prepared to take on a mortgage for my new flat, considering he brought nothing to the marriage with him by way of a place to live. That's all conveniently forgotten.
The score so far; me - still three jobs
reptilian errant husband - zero
Wednesday, 14 February 2007
I caved in under pressure from the Pie Mine and have agreed to deliver the Nursery School lunches. I shall be charging them for mileage and my time. So it's not exactly a cost effective way of doing business. Still, that's down to poor management on their part. They should get the van fixed.
I've agreed an initial six month contract with Bruce to start on March 1st. I are an Estate Agent now!
Score so far;
Me - jobs x three
Errant husband - jobs x zero
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
Wednesday, 7 February 2007
I want it to be over. I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. No one would miss me.